I Couldn't Stop Thinking about This...

Hey Friend,

This week we are hearing a lot of conversations around the topic of mental health after the unfortunate passing of Cheslie Kryst, former Miss USA 2019. At the age of 30 this beautiful and accomplished woman jumped to her death.

My heart rips into a million pieces every time I hear a story like this, and I think it’s normal to want to learn as much as we can about what the person may have been going through moments before deciding to end it all.

I remember a similar story a few years ago where another young and accomplished woman decided to end her life as well. One peek into both of these women’s lives (from the outside looking in) and one would think they had it all. They were both successful career women traveling the world with so much to look forward to. But as we all know, mental illness does not discriminate.

When I heard about the young woman who committed suicide a few years ago I started reading through her blog posts and came across her suicide note, and one sentence she wrote gripped my heart for days, leaving me in a state of melancholy.

She wrote, “I have accepted hope is nothing more than delayed disappointment, and I am just plain old-fashion tired of feeling tired.”

Man, I felt that in a way that shook me. At that time, I had been praying and asking God for something specific for a very long time and my heart was sick from the many years of unanswered prayers.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12.

When I hear these stories, I get angry. I get angry at the enemy of our soul whose only job is to steal, kill, and destroy. And because I am fully aware of this, I know the enemy is always behind the evil we see in this world.

That’s why I am so adamant about us all operating in our individual assignments and being able to be used by God because there are so many people who are hurting. I find that so many people are out of position and out of alignment with where the Lord needs them to be and that’s when anxiety, depression, and frustration kicks in.

Perhaps you may be hurting right now. You may feel lost about where you are currently in life. You may long for something so much that at times it may be hard to hold on. The enemy gets us in our longings and desires. Whether that be a longing for (more) success, fame, significance, being married, having a baby, or being seen, if you have a craving that is not being satisfied you may also start to believe that hope is nothing more than delayed disappointment.

In that moment when I started rolling that statement around in my head and pondering over it, these words came back to my memory … And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

In that moment I had to make a choice as to what words I was going to believe because if we are honest, sometimes it’s easier to believe the lies of the enemy as opposed to God’s words because the evidence of the unfulfilled longing is staring us right in the face.

I don’t ever want to be insensitive and imply that mental health is not real-because it most certainly is. (I wrote a book detailing my gruesome decade long battle with anxiety). So, I know how real the struggle is. I know people are looking for answers and there are so many tools out there. But in addition to the tools like such as therapy, I want to also encourage you to lean heavily upon the word of God too.

If I had not known the word of God and had not tucked that scripture away in my heart not even knowing it was there, I may have continued to believe the lie of the enemy and nothing good would have resulted from that.

Friend, I want you to know that you are not alone in your battle to hold onto hope. I want you to know that your hope won’t lead to disappointment.

Here’s what I want you to do. Write out all the negative thoughts you think on a regular basis and find scriptures to memorize to combat those thoughts. And don’t hesitate to find a therapist that can come alongside you and help you process what you’re feeling.

You are needed in this world and you are loved. I pray this life brings you everything you long for and I pray you can hold on a little while longer because it will get better.

Here for you always,

Tiffany

A few more things/helpful resources:

P.S. If you are a career woman, successful in a soul-crushing career and you want to transition into your spirit-led calling I launched a new program a few months ago called, Sacred Side Hustle, for women desiring to make an income while making an impact. If you fall in this category, you can click here to learn more and to apply for the program.

P.S.S. My book Peace Stealers is still getting rave reviews. If you struggle with anxiety and you want to have more peace, this book will help you to do just that. It tackles 21 areas that steal your peace and contributes to anxiety. Click here to purchase. Also, if you have read the book, I would be so grateful if you left a review on amazon. It will help more people to know about the book and sharing is caring :)).

P.S.S. Don’t forget to follow me on Instagram and join me every other Tuesday, starting January 11th, for Tuesdays with Tiffany.

P.S.S.S. You are amazing, and you are doing an amazing job. Don't you forget it!

Are Your Thoughts Working for or Against You? (Video + Blog)

Hey friend,

There’s a popular quote by Henry Ford that says, “Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.” As with most popular quotes, when I hear them, I immediately think of the bible verse that correlates with the quote. This is because no matter how much the world wants to think it is original, nothing is new under the sun. Meaning most of the sought-after thought leaders are really just taking pieces from the Bible, whether they realize it or not.

This Henry Ford quote is merely a variation of the scripture found in Proverbs 23:7 that says, “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”

Both the quote and the scripture are correct. Whatever you think is what you are. But it doesn’t just stop there. You see, your thoughts are just one component of a powerful trio, and I guarantee you, if you begin to activate all three components of this trio, your life will shift.

Friend, I didn’t say your life may shift; I said your life will shift if you become diligent about getting these three areas in alignment with the word of God.

Those three areas are:

• Your thoughts

• Your heart

• Your words

 The scripture says as a man thinks in his heart, so is he. However, the heart does not have the capability to think; only the mind can think, which means that your thoughts and your heart are connected. That’s why the Bible says (paraphrasing) above anything else you set out to do, guard your heart because it determines the course of your life.

That means no matter how much you pray, no matter how much you fast, and no matter what type of affirmations you speak over your life, none of that will matter if you don’t guard your heart against the contamination coming to disrupt God’s plan for your life. This is because whatever is going on in your mind is a direct reflection of what is going on in your heart, and eventually, what is going on in your heart will begin to come out through your words.

For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. Luke 6:45. And that’s it…once you speak curses over your life; your life obeys what you say. You shape your future by the words you speak.

That’s why the enemy works so hard to get us to thinking crazy, fearful thoughts by using circumstances from the past because he knows that if he can get your thoughts and your heart messed up, your words will follow, and his work is done.

To be frank, friend, I’m tired of his rusty bald-headed tail, trying the same ole tried and true tactics to keep us from reaching our purpose. I say no more. Getting this revelation of how this trio can either make or break my life has been instrumental in me moving the needle forward instead of always feeling like I’m moving backwards.

Now I want to share this revelation in a way that I pray moves you forward too. In this video, titled, Negative thoughts/evil forebodings, I explain;

• how this trio either works for or against you

• I go over the positive pattern and negative pattern model to help you learn to switch your thoughts around to work in your favor

• I give three practical and powerful tips to help you gain control of your thoughts

• And lastly, I share a powerful analogy to demonstrate how your thoughts can take you to a destination that is far from God’s original plan.

Friend, it’s time to get your mind right because you have places to go and important work to do. I believe this video will be the catalyst you need to start (or continue) moving in the right direction.

Until next time my friend,

Tiffany

The Danger of Doubt (Blog + Video)

Hey Friend,

 Have you ever heard some good news and thought to yourself, “This is too good to be true?”

As much as you want to believe, have you ever been afraid to get your hopes up (AGAIN)? The reason I ask is that I know personally how excruciating it can be to put your trust in something or someone after being let down time and time again.

As much as we know intellectually that we live in a fallen world full of flawed humans, we still long to put our faith into something that will not disappoint us.

Because we live in a fallen world with fallen people, disappointment is inevitable. Now friend, I am sure this isn’t news to you because like me, I am sure you have been let down by someone before. I don’t really need to elaborate on the fact that people are fickle and untrustworthy at times. So, I want to approach this differently.

As Christians, we are referred to as believers. We believe in God. We believe in Jesus and in His resurrection, but what I find to be ironic- is just how little we believe in the words of the God we serve when it comes to our own lives.

Because if we are honest, sometimes it feels as if God has disappointed us too, and when we begin to feel this way, it is easy for unbelief to seep in and contaminate our faith.

And no matter how much we try to normalize doubt, as a believer, without faith, it is impossible to please God.

Knowing this makes all the difference because if we do not please God, who are we pleasing when doubt becomes a constant companion?

Continuing our video series based on my book, Peace Stealers; today we are dealing with the peace stealer of unbelief and why it is dangerous for a believer to live with doubt.

In this short video, titled, “The danger of unbelief,” I explained why we cannot casually entertain doubt, and I offer practical steps to help you eliminate this peace stealer from your life to experience answered prayer and the stability available for you.

I pray it is a blessing to you.

Until next time my friend.

Tiffany

Help, I'm Insecure! (Blog +Video)

I have a confession to make, friend. Not too many years ago, I ran from my assignment. To give you a little background, in 2005, I graduated from pharmacy school and moved to Houston, Texas. I quickly started growing roots and became a member of a great local church at the recommendation of a friend.

I grew accustomed to quietly slipping into the pews Sunday after Sunday and jetting out of service as soon as the benediction was given before anyone could ever speak to me (I was hiding).

One Sunday, one of the young ladies at the church managed to catch up with me right before making a B-line for the door to ask me if I wanted to be part of a production the church was putting on. I am not sure if she knew, but I had spent the majority of my life performing and or training to perform. So, I agreed because it would give me a chance to do what I loved and it was time for me to stop running and meet new people. After several rehearsals, the day finally came, and the production went great.

I absolutely love dancing and performing.

Although I was this quiet, introverted, mysterious girl who tried to slip in the back pew at church unnoticed, I am a totally different person when I perform.

After the performance, I was asked to be over the dance team at church. And again, I agreed. The thing is, although I loved to dance, I hated choreographing—emphasis on HATED. But I said yes anyway, having no idea what I was getting myself into.

I began putting dances together (solo and group performances) and the anxiety that had already been a part of my life got even worse.

I tore myself apart, trying to put the perfect dance together. Perfectionism got the best of me as the mean girl inside my mind kept harassing me with thoughts such as, “these moves are so simple and elementary, why can’t you think of more complicated moves.”

What was supposed to be a gift I used as unto the Lord turned into something that was all about me, and my past coming back to haunt me.

When the time came for me to perform the dance, I was ready, but no one knew the turmoil and hell I went through to put the dance together.  On the performance day, I had already made up in my mind that this would be the last time I ever danced unless someone took over the headache of choreographing.

I remember I danced to Israel Houghton’s song called, Moving Forward. And after church, so many people came up to me and told me how they could feel the presence of God every time I danced and that they could not wait until the next time. I decided to try to stick it out and try again. I danced two more times and on the third time, Unfortunately, I ran from the assignment.

It was not until I was sitting down to write my story for my book, Peace Stealers, that I began to notice a pattern and I figured out why I was so hard on myself when it came to choreographing.

Friend, I know I have been telling my story, but I’m sure you have a story too. Have you ever been intimidated by an assignment or a calling that overwhelmed you? Have you ever felt inadequate and unworthy for a role you signed up for? Can you think of a time in the past where you ran, or are you presently running from something that God is calling you to do?

I want you to know that it’s time to stop running. It’s time for you to shut up your inner mean girl and get to the root of what is making you anxious and causing you to run. I mentioned that I noticed a pattern, and what I mean by that – is when I started my coaching business, I noticed those same feelings of inadequacy showing up again, but this time, I knew that if I was going to run, it would be on top of the enemy’s head (can I get a fist pump)!

So, here I am, 5 years later, still walking in my assignment and using my story to help others move forward. If you are dealing with feelings of inadequacy and insecurity and you are ready to move past them, I believe this video will help you to do just that.

I pray it is a blessing to you.

Before I let you go, I need you to know that you are chosen and equipped to fulfill your assignment on Earth.

You have work to do, and it starts with uprooting the peace stealer of feeling inadequate. This video will help you to do just that.

Until next time,

Tiffany

Book Announcement! Read if You Struggle with Anxiety.

“Tell your story ~ Live your passion ~ Change your world”

Hey Friend,

Today is officially in the running for one of the most exciting days of my life. I cannot even wrap my brain around what I am getting ready to share. 

But you know I have to give a little context first. So, will you indulge me for just a second?!

Years ago I heard this quote while watching television: “Tell your story ~ Live your passion ~ Change your world.” I quickly grabbed a sheet of paper and wrote it down, because it resonated with me so much. I knew that someday I would live this out loud, but that’s all I knew. 

At that time I was still living every single day with debilitating anxiety, and I honestly didn’t know if I would ever know what it felt like to live life without anxiety. 

But I held on to hope. That hope was found in the living word of God and in an inner knowing that God would never waste my pain. So, I am beyond humbled and completely outdone at what God has done with my story and with my life.. 

My pain has become my platform and I can’t believe I am about to say this, but even if I can help just a handful of people overcome anxiety, then it was worth all those days of struggling with anxiety. 

So, without further ado I would like to announce that today I am officially releasing my FIRST book:  Peace Stealers: 21 Reasons Why You’re Anxious, Why It Matters, and What to Do About it!

You may be asking, out of all the books on anxiety, Tiffany, why did you write this book? And I am so glad you asked. I have read many books on anxiety and I have studied this subject extensively, and although most books were helpful to some degree, none of them simplified this complex issue in a way that solved my problem. With anxiety being the most common of all mental disorders, affecting 1 in 13 people, the factor I refer to as “peace stealers” is usually left out of the conversation, so I wrote this book in order to expose and bring to light this concept of “peace stealers.” I realized that the majority of those suffering from anxiety (like myself) did not have a chemical imbalance, but they had imbalances in their everyday lives and in their environments that were contributing to their anxiety. 

The most alarming thing is that most people are unaware of the purpose of these peace stealers in their life. Because everything has a purpose in life, negatively and positively, you have to investigate who sent what, and I can guarantee you that your anxiety was not sent by God. 

The peace stealers’ sole objective is to cripple your calling and poison your purpose. If you want to get to the bottom of discovering the peace stealers unleashed in your life, this book will help you to do just that. If you, or anyone you know is suffering with anxiety in any capacity, I wrote this book for you. 

You don’t have to live with anxiety another day, Friend. It’s time to discover the 21 reasons why you’re anxious, why it matters, and what to do about it!

You can order the book here.

Thank you for celebrating with me, Friend, and just know that God will never waste your pain. The mess in your life can become your message and when you tell your story, and begin to live your passion (because God delivered you and you want to see others delivered), you will change your world and the world of so many others.

That’s my deepest desire, that your world is changed through the words on the pages of this book. Order your copy here.

Until next time,

Tiffany