I have a confession to make, friend. Not too many years ago, I ran from my assignment. To give you a little background, in 2005, I graduated from pharmacy school and moved to Houston, Texas. I quickly started growing roots and became a member of a great local church at the recommendation of a friend.
I grew accustomed to quietly slipping into the pews Sunday after Sunday and jetting out of service as soon as the benediction was given before anyone could ever speak to me (I was hiding).
One Sunday, one of the young ladies at the church managed to catch up with me right before making a B-line for the door to ask me if I wanted to be part of a production the church was putting on. I am not sure if she knew, but I had spent the majority of my life performing and or training to perform. So, I agreed because it would give me a chance to do what I loved and it was time for me to stop running and meet new people. After several rehearsals, the day finally came, and the production went great.
I absolutely love dancing and performing.
Although I was this quiet, introverted, mysterious girl who tried to slip in the back pew at church unnoticed, I am a totally different person when I perform.
After the performance, I was asked to be over the dance team at church. And again, I agreed. The thing is, although I loved to dance, I hated choreographing—emphasis on HATED. But I said yes anyway, having no idea what I was getting myself into.
I began putting dances together (solo and group performances) and the anxiety that had already been a part of my life got even worse.
I tore myself apart, trying to put the perfect dance together. Perfectionism got the best of me as the mean girl inside my mind kept harassing me with thoughts such as, “these moves are so simple and elementary, why can’t you think of more complicated moves.”
What was supposed to be a gift I used as unto the Lord turned into something that was all about me, and my past coming back to haunt me.
When the time came for me to perform the dance, I was ready, but no one knew the turmoil and hell I went through to put the dance together. On the performance day, I had already made up in my mind that this would be the last time I ever danced unless someone took over the headache of choreographing.
I remember I danced to Israel Houghton’s song called, Moving Forward. And after church, so many people came up to me and told me how they could feel the presence of God every time I danced and that they could not wait until the next time. I decided to try to stick it out and try again. I danced two more times and on the third time, Unfortunately, I ran from the assignment.
It was not until I was sitting down to write my story for my book, Peace Stealers, that I began to notice a pattern and I figured out why I was so hard on myself when it came to choreographing.
Friend, I know I have been telling my story, but I’m sure you have a story too. Have you ever been intimidated by an assignment or a calling that overwhelmed you? Have you ever felt inadequate and unworthy for a role you signed up for? Can you think of a time in the past where you ran, or are you presently running from something that God is calling you to do?
I want you to know that it’s time to stop running. It’s time for you to shut up your inner mean girl and get to the root of what is making you anxious and causing you to run. I mentioned that I noticed a pattern, and what I mean by that – is when I started my coaching business, I noticed those same feelings of inadequacy showing up again, but this time, I knew that if I was going to run, it would be on top of the enemy’s head (can I get a fist pump)!
So, here I am, 5 years later, still walking in my assignment and using my story to help others move forward. If you are dealing with feelings of inadequacy and insecurity and you are ready to move past them, I believe this video will help you to do just that.
I pray it is a blessing to you.
Before I let you go, I need you to know that you are chosen and equipped to fulfill your assignment on Earth.
You have work to do, and it starts with uprooting the peace stealer of feeling inadequate. This video will help you to do just that.
Until next time,
Tiffany