"This is not the way I thought my life would turn out! Nothing seems to be working out. I’m just really disappointed at my life and how it has turned out.”
I nodded my head in agreement as I listened to my coaching client release her raw, unfiltered truth.
I nod in agreement because I've been there many times and sometimes I still dwell in that muddy land of disappointment. And I’m willing to bet that my client and I aren’t alone in this.
A lot of us wear disappointment like an unwanted accessory that tends to make its way into our everyday wardrobe. And if we're not careful, our everyday conversation topics are centered around this one item we wear daily.
When our experiences don't live up to our expectations, disappointment can set in, and if not dealt with properly, disappointment can turn into depression.
And we begin to unpack our bags - along with our hopes and dreams - and make our bed in the land of defeat.
The land of "what's the point."
The land of "maybe this is as good as it gets."
The land of jealousy and comparison where everybody else life seems to be everything ours is not.
I've done enough coaching at this point to realize that this isn't just an isolated issue, but something so prevalent, I'll be remised to ignore and not address.
If you could be brutally honest, just as my coaching client, you would most likely admit that you're tired.
And most likely depressed most days.
Life has taken the song out of your heart and the pep out of your step.
I know how you feel, Friend.
I know just how unfair and disappointing life and people can be at times.
The struggle truly is real, but so is our God!
One of the tried and true tired lies of the enemy is to get you to believe that things will never change. That your best days are behind you and that you will never experience true joy and satisfaction in this life.
But I'm here to tell you that not only is that a lie, but it's a trap to get you to start doing three things that will keep you a wilderness season and prevent you from reaching your promise land.
Because when you're tired, you begin to let your guard down, and what was meant to be only a season of growth, turns into a lifetime of disappointment.
Friend, no matter how discouraging and depressing your life seems to be, three things will keep you in that land of defeat, snuffing out any attempt you make to move forward.
Stay away from these three things the same way you'd run away from a burning building.
Let's discuss the first part of this "deadly trio."
Complaining is a sin (ouch! I know this is a hard pill to swallow), however, it is one of those tolerated sins, that we tend to brush off in the name of "venting, and being human."
But, if we knew the consequences of complaining, I believe we would be more mindful of turning our complaints into gratitude.
Let’s look at this verse in Philippians:
Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people. (Philippians 2:14-15).
There is one main group of people in the bible who are definitely not known as being bright lights.
In fact, this group of people are still known to this day as complainers.
Yep, you guessed it!
We can learn a lot from them. They are the poster children for what not to do when life seems unfair.
God gave them a promise, and then they went through a process to get to the promise. But they complained the ENTIRE time.
We may think it's not a big deal to complain, however, if we look at the history of the Israelites, we see that they never reached the promised land (only the newer generation did- their parents died before ever seeing the promise).
They couldn’t access the promise due to several factors, one being they were ungrateful and full of complaints.
Let that sink in a minute… your complaining shows God that you aren't ready to handle the promise.
Because each season will carry its own set of challenges, and your complaining with your "little" indicates that you won't be able to handle "more."
Friend, don't allow your heart to stay in a perpetual state of ungratefulness. Don't allow the enemy to whisper lies about how hard your life is, and how things will never change.
Don't allow him to get you to start overlooking and dismissing what God has done and is doing, to only focus on your present reality.
I encourage you to start cultivating a heart of thankfulness, and that will get you one step closer to your promise.
A wise preacher once said, "complain and remain, or praise and be raised!"
Friend, it's your choice.
On the next blog we will discuss the second part of this deadly trio that will keep you from the promise.